Final Summation
School's more or less out. Phew, thats a relief. Or is it? Papers come back, the results astonishingly...... bad, as always. Nothing new this time but that same, sick in the guts feeling I always have when it comes to getting back my papers. Such a chore. And regret pours over like nobody's business. "i should have paid more attention in class.." and all of that bullshit. Ive got nothing to do now but to slap myself. Im seriously scared that I will get retained. What if I do, oh boy, such a f**king shame. That would really destroy me. Retention. OOoOoOOoh.
What a good day I had today.
A face to face battle against retention and getting caught for vandalism i barely contributed to, not to mention rejection. baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
So yes yes, im back at it, hammering those complains out of myself onto this sick waste of space here. Im glad youre reading this. Thank you so much, dear. Youre a good friend. I love you. Why, anyway. My friend Adi is about to leave Singapore for good, going back home, ive known him since I was about 8, I remember cause he just gave me money one day, whaha he just went, "hey boy, you want? nah."
Man, was I shocked. whahah he's such a kind guy. Everyone will miss him.
Well I guess thats that, friends come and go.
I guess im fated to have two groups of friends. Or more, perhaps. Sigh. Thats not good.
I wish everything was so much simpler. Even to give your life to God and become a priest, you have to get A levels. What the heck, man.
I miss skating. No, I miss the times we had when we were all 'skaters'. Fun times, bloody fun times. But its like, so outta my life now. Ay, the past cant erase itself or be forgotten, and memories are to be kept, not thrown away.
This school year's just gonna end.... Just like that. It'll all be over. My sec 3 scholastic life, Just like THAT. bam. finished.
All the memories. It all happened so fast. At the start of the year, it was like the end of the year was so far away. Now, looking back. Woah. Forty weeks ago, that wasnt very long ago.
Ive learnt so much this year. Music, friends, priorities, stuff. Every year new things get learnt. And dramatic things happen.
Remember those times, people? When our lives were made up of skating and stuff. Being so obsessed about being able to flick a piece of wood and metal and urethane around. jumping here and there, sliding this and that. I dont understand. Gosh, I was such a loser back then, making lots of silly decisions and shit. I still do, I think. But much less.
On the whole, however, I think ive made a dramatic self improvement from the start of the year till now. Thats what's important, anyway, that I become a better person. Every single experience this year had something to do with this, I guess.
Ive learnt, from being all full of myself and shit, to being so low down and pessimistic, that Im just a little more than useless. I guess.
Music for today: More Than Useless - Relient K. (go check em out, I like em alot.)
Oh well. Thats about it, I suppose. Bye. Thanks for reading.