i want more!

Hello blogspot. Its sunday morning.. Im feeling itchy and scratchy even though I showered.. Im prolly gonna shower again. I was supposed to go to church for 11am mass and my mom woke me up at 8 something and I went to shower without thinking and now I'm just kinda stuck awake cause if I sleep, I will just sleep and prolly miss mass or something... that's bad and should never be done.. by anyone... it's just not right..

Gig yesterday was awesome.. Turnout was really bangin! And I was worried that our little noob band wouldnt be able to sell enough tickets. We cleared all the tickets, plus extra.. So it's good..
It was really damn awesome to see how many super supportive friends we have. I love you guys. Big thank-you to everyone who came.. Ive said this before and I'll say this again; It's the people watching that make the gigs awesome.
So super huge thanks to everyone who came down yesterday to catch your favourite noob baby band Trella losing its virginity to the stage at Dxo.
We'll be taking a short short break now, to mould the next few horrible catastrophies we call 'songs' into playable pieces of music. So, we won't be playing until like the end of May. that's like a month away. yup. We're playing for Deafcon 3 on the 26th of May, so keep your heads up for that. And mister Ikbal asked us to play for some x-games thing somewhere in june/july, dont really know but yea so just keep your heads up.. that one's gonna be huge.. okay lah not huge but it would prolly be the coolest thing we've done so far. Pretty exciting stuff, innit? But 26th of may is 2 days before chinese o levels. So I dunno if my chinese friends can come. 70 percent of Singaporeans are chinese. and even more take chinese for o levels. and alot of you guys are doing o levels this year. and its gonna be damn iffy. =\

Oh and sorry kc, we didnt end up making the very advertised 'field trip' in the end, cause alot of us had holes in our wallets instead of money. So we decided to play battlefield. The call came, and we answered. tempting lah. sorry kc...... i told you i'd go... but i didnt... so im sorry... really..
but you never come for our gig also! hahaha
nehneenehneepoo poo

okay i think ill go shower now.
then ill meet irwin at church.
and then. we will go for mass.
and then.
lunch, i think.
and then, I dont know... tee hee.
okay bye blogger.




i just wanna hold you so tight.

push the tempo

Hello. I'm in a very... reminiscing mood now. I've been having so many flashbacks, its like a movie. Ive been getting this alot. Maybe it's the long bus rides to school and back. Okay, it is the long bus rides. Its the cause of the 'alone time'. Just a few months ago I was blogging about how I loved alone time. And now Im hating the fact that its making me see all the shit in my life. I get bored when Im alone and I get lazy to even read something. I dont even carry a book with me anymore. I will then get bored. I like to be bored, somtimes. Well, I get bored and I mentally plunge into the song playing on my little mp3 player. And that particular song, whatever song that may be, would dictate the thought processes throughout the rest of the journey. And sometimes certain songs remind you of certain periods in your life. And its just stunning how the memories just shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot.

I miss all the old times. Everything. I miss everything.

Being on the bus for long periods of time gives you this brief 'time window' where you can actually pause your life and not worry about anything. You're sitting on the bus and all you can do is wait till it arrives at your destination. There is nothing you can do to make the bus go faster or get rid of the people in it. All you do is find a place and sit down. Or stand up. and while you're standing up, there is nothing else to do, than to think.

Life is not bad. Everything at home's pretty okay. It's getting better. My grandparents have stopped giving me shit about my o level results. Things are looking allright with the family. School's picking up pace, it looks tough now, theres lots to do, but I like what I'm doing and I'm trying as hard as ever to make the most of my course. Its what i've always wanted to go into anyway. Studying for the o level subjects im retaking is finally, just finally, starting to pick up pace. Things on the spiritual front is, well quite okay. Just kinda kicked up our christian band? Its picking up pace. Everything's picking up pace. Trella's picking up pace as well. Still scrounging around for gigs here and there and we finally landed ourselves one at dxo, so I think that's gonna be fun. The sian part is, the pwnage gig is on the same day. So we have to do another field trip. We can never get proper gigs. We are such fucking noobs. We dont know anyone.

I cant wait to do something huge.
Something that will turn heads.
Nothing i've done so far was very spectacular.
Moron Madness back in 05' was fucking retarded. Audiorojak was, weak.
I wanna fucking own.
But I prolly gotta grow the fucking up first.

Amidst everything that's happening now, there's a certain lack of something. A certain emptiness.

Something's missing.
It's a big gaping hole.
Everything's happening now but something's missing.
If love is a fast song then someone please speed me up to 288900192397 beats per minute.

ghey.

Homosexuality was very prominant today. I was on the way to school and I saw this fucking transvestite. He/she looked fucking disgusting. I have never seen anything like it. Even from way up on the upper deck of the bus, the sight of this 'oddity' was enough to make me retch. Seriously. The people around that thing were staring and walking away hurriedly too.

That was not enough. After lessons, I agreed to watch an episode of Southpark on my friend's laptop. What harm could it do, right? Watching the ultimate ass kicking cartoon ever on a friend's laptop.
Well it just so happened that this episode was the one where they rediculed the movie 300 and it consisted of Lesbians fighting gay Persians.
But it was okay lah, it was fucking hilarious...

The one on the way home was the worst. On the way home, I was walking towards the bus stop, and on the opposite side of the road, there was a bunch of real gays and real lesbians getting ready to cross the road to get to Hotel 81, if I got the assumption right. No doubt the gays and lesbos were among normal people, but it was an annoyingly huge percentage of gays and lesbians. And I felt really annoyed. Like why can't you just be happy with being a woman. or a man. nothing else says it better than 'what the fuck.'

But these people didnt do anything to me so I dont really give a fuck. hahah.. so much for my 'i hate homosexuals' first three paragraphs.
its just really weird when all these things start staring at you.

School's finally getting more challenging. Yes, I used the word challenging. haha... I got my first assignment and all I need to do is to edit some stuff on Protools..

Oh yea. and friday's event at home club has an age limit. hahahahahhahahahaha
okay so young people like me wont be able to go.

But saturday's still on. Can't wait for saturday!

Oh and next saturday's gonna be better still. Trella's gonna be playing at DXO! More details out at a later date, kay peeps? We're prolly gonna be doing another 'come watch trella and then we can scoot over to watch caracal after that' because caracal and ava are playing at home club later on that day.. it's gonna be another great weekend..

But before the weekends come, there's always the daily grind of the weekdays. Which would be so much more bearable if.... if I had a genie.
I wish I had a genie.
I would then be able to wish for:
1. the ability to stop time
2. an unlimited bankroll
3. more wishes

yea. money and time is all we really need.
money, time, and love to give and receive.

Its getting damn boring and Im getting damn lonely now. Im not close to anyone. Okay im close to quite a few people but not like damn damn damn close..
I miss Irwin.
I am so damn ghey.




"Is it possible to put this night to tune, and move it to you?"
pachuca sunrise - minus the bear

damn good on late nights
prefabally by the beach
in the Mediterranean
with the moonlight
calm breeze
light wine
and you.

another power packed weekend!

Hello everyone! (assuming 'everyone' reads my blog)
Thanks for coming down to Trella's little gig at Lcube last saturday, it was hella fun and great seeing our friends there. Thanks, friends, friends of friends, and people who think they are friends. (just kidding!)

Okay so if you really had it with Trella's sets and my lame jokes, well fret no more! This weekend's going to be another power packed weekend for everyone.. this Friday, 20th of April, AMATUER TAKES CONTROL will be playing, and NOFX will be coming down for the afterparty at HOME CLUB! yep its off beat this friday followed by beat and home club as usual and its gonna be hella fun. Be there or, well, miss the fun. haha... (this is also an invitation/plead to my friends to go with me, because i wouldnt want to go there alone. haha. please!)

ANNNNDDDD there's CUT the following day so dont miss out. im lazy to keep typing and thinking, so, just refer to the damn posters lah. hahaha

see you there, biatches! i mean, friends and friends of friends and people who think they are friends!

one more time

food for thought.

So tell me, if you really believe that God has a plan for you, why the hell do you pray for something to happen? Why do you bother to pray for someone who's ill to get better, or to score well in an upcoming test or exam, or for an increase in your measly pay, or whatever? Why do you bother to pray for an alteration or an exception in God's perfectly planned out chronology?

If you believe that God planned your entire life and everyone else's too, then why should you pray for Him to change that plan? If a person gets sick, he or she simply gets sick. If a person dies, he or she simply has to die. God planned it, after all. So if you truly believe that God bothered to plan everything out for you, then you just have to accept everything that happens to you as 'God's plan.'

That doesnt sound very comforting now, does it?

I think that God did not plan our entire lives out. I certainly do not believe that he has a master logbook that reads, "So and so is going to do this and that today. Exactly 31 minutes and 52 seconds after that, he is going to lose his wallet."
I dont think God has a freaky logbook that has that kind of information. It would be super fucking dumb if he had a book like that. It would be really meaningless if he planned everything that we did, or would do.

Why do I say that?

My take on this would be that God didn't plan anything for us. Because if he did actually plan our every move, he would know if we would end up in heaven or hell, wouldnt he?
After what I learned about free will, I've come to my theory that God didn't plan our every move, but he simply planned to give us free will, and see what we do with it. After Adam and Eve's little apple incident, God must have probably thought, 'heh, what the hell. i should just let them decide. it would be meaningless if little Adam and tiny Eve over here were to remain robotic creatures that simply do what I tell them. the world is at their hands. i have created everything for them. lets see what they do with it.'
And then, poof, he released the 'spell' that made Adam and Eve so 'robotic' and they suddenly put on their little leaves to cover their interesting areas. And from then on, the sickness of sin just spread to ever human being ever.

So it was God's plan to give us free will. And that's about everything he's ever planned out for us. Everything we do after that just basically helps him with the heaven/hell sorting party. He didn't plan our today, our tomorrow, or even our yesterday. He has better things to do, I guess. What you do with your life is totally up to you. If you decide to go to church regularly, well good for you. If you dont, whatever. God can't help the fact that there are lapsed catholics and christians. Because God didn't plan for them to get lapsed.

This leads me on to think that Free Will is actually God's way of measuring our love for him. We have the choice to do whatever we want, so if we decide to go on in faith and believe and love and do whatever pleases God, well I guess that just gives us more points then.

But the question that rose after that made me think some more. ha. Well, if you're very faithful to God and his promises, are you just faithful because you want to secure your place in heaven? If you do, well it's not a very nice relationship you have with God there, is it? God didn't plan for anyone to have these kind of relationships with Him. I guess he gave us free will because be wanted us to love Him whole heartedly, and not on command. I say again, God didn't plan your life, my life, or anyone else's life.

Think about it, let's say, you wanna go somewhere. Instead of another place. You go there. Something happens to you. God's doing? I dont think so. It was totally your choice to go where you went and God has no control over it.

That's how you sin. Let's say, you wanna sin. Instead of doing something else. You go ahead and sin. Something happens to you while you sin. God's doing? I dont think so. It was totally your choice to go ahead and sin and God has no control over it.

We write the future, boys and girls.
Everything that happens is the result of what we did to achieve that kind of an outcome.
Tell me i'm right, tell me God's plan didnt have anything to do with my life and all the shit's that been happening at home.

Tell me one day, everyone will realise how sad life really is. It has been absolutely fucking retarded, really, ever since money was invented. Our parents spend all their money on our education, so that, ultimately, we can get a job and earn ourselves a decent bankroll, and the cycle continues. It's been basically like that for ages.

Seems like money is the new God. Everyone's basically living to get money. You study, so you can get a job, which gets you money. And you work for the rest of your life, to get money.

But when you think about it, there really is no other way. I think.

If someone cancelled the whole money sytem, It would result in a whole lot of unhapiness. Communism was a try at that, I believe. It didnt fucking work. So there is no way out of democracy. Which makes it ever so hard to find God in anything, after all my weird conclusions about his plan and free will and money.