term break = "holidays?" haha! dream!

My holidays are shit. June was packed, and I thought my semester break would well, give me a fucking break. But no can do! Bong still has plenty of shit to do. I had the intention of whining about all my commitments again but I realised that I actually have very few commitments, as compared to a multitude of other people with much better time management skills and who know what their priorities are.

Okay so, I have:
1. My band.
2. My school.
3. Retaking my math and science which i've overlooked terribly.
4. My church youth group, which has apparently changed its name now.
5. My family.
6. My friends.

Okay minus the 'stock standard' commitments that come bundled with life, i.e. commitments that everyone else has, i'm left with:
1. My band.
2. Retaking my math and science which i've overlooked terribly.
3. My church youth group. which has apparently changed its name now.

When I think about my church youth group, I dont even know why I'm in it sometimes. I feel its not very beneficial. It isn't deep, it isnt mature. They think theyre talking to 13 year olds. Everything's so rah rah. It gets annoying. Im just talking about my youth group, by the way. Not other groups. And im not talking shit about anyone, its just the way I feel about this youth group in general. I think that post con, (now called 'acts II') is a very rah rah, superficial, shallow group. I mean there are people in there who understand, and who are alot more mature in their faith than alot of people, but seriously, the majority of them dont think deeply about God and stuff, or at least, appear to. Many of the kids going take the sessions so lightly, I would be surprised if they actually took anything away from it, or if they even cared. I'm not saying that they're bad people. Sometimes I can't even refer to them as 'they' cause 'they' are my friends. But sometimes I feel that the poor members of this goup are just going for the sake of going. And in the first place, every one of us went voluntarity. I hate the fact that they make a big deal out of if when you don't go. Sometimes, I dont know what's the point of going. Half the people there are seriously just going because their friends are going. Like me, last year. I only went cause well, Martin Brendan Irwin and all were going. And them being the core people of 'ye olde band' s.o.d. I always had this hope that, for the sake of fun, and for the sake of the good memories that we had growing up, sod would form again. But they're just not interested. Bah, that's probably why that fucking band didn't work out in the first place.

I was hoping that in my short two week long semester break, I would have the opportunity of being able to just fucking take a break, and escape a few commitments for a while, put my feet on the coffee table, my head sunk in the couch, and just waste away in front of the tv or something. But No Can Do! I realised that I haven't been studying for my math and science, which I'm retaking, and I've got to fucking take control of this. I also realised that my room is in the biggest fucking mess, and now it's even harder to move things around because all the guys stuff are in there from the recording day. I can't even walk around without tripping over something or stubbing my toe on a piece of equipment. I hate the cymbal stands especially. They have something against my toes, I swear. One day I will create a magical bag that you can stuff all unwanted but wanted stuff inside and you can just take it out with a touch of a button.

I love what I'm learning at Sae, but I don't exactly love my school (as in, the school in its physical sense.) The campus is fucking big. (Sarcasm intended) And their rules are fucking frustrating. You can't book the fucking studios one fucking day after another. Then how the fuck are you going to fucking record? You need at least two fucking sessions. Or more. For a layered song. Isn't it more fucking convenient to let the fucking students book the fucking studios for two fucking days in a fucking row rather than fucking book one fucking day a fucking week? The students can fucking get their fucking work done very much faster, and they could also fucking leave their fucking equipment there for the two fucking days. Which makes the whole fucking thing so much easier. Makes more fucking sense, right! But this is not what i'm flustered about. Im frustrated at the fucking fact that the fucking school isn't fucking open during the fucking holidays! And I fucking have TWO fucking assignments due on the same fucking day, the fucking 26th of fucking July! And there is alot to fucking do with those fucking assigments, and the fucking annoying part is, I can only do the stuff in the fucking school. How fucking convenient!

I feel like ditching everything but there really is so much to think about.
I'm looking forward to this sunday, the 1st of july so much.
I'm looking forward to it, but once it's over, fuck, back to the mundane real world. Sometimes I think playing gigs helps me to get away from it all. In a certain sense la. For that entire week, I'll hype myself up, I'll be in my own ditsy zone, and i'll zone out, on the day itself. It's fun, cause I'm doing what I love, and I'm in that "i'm gonna do what i'm gonna do cause i wanna do it and none of you bastards can stop me!" kinda mood and I basically just zone out and have fun my own way and its just so much fucking fun la. I love the freedom and escape that gigs give me. I get a blood rush when I'm up on stage and my friends and their friends and people who think they're friends are down there supporting my band and I. I love that feeling of apprehension when you go up there, strap the guitar around you and play the first chord. I love the whole thing, its just so much fun, it lets me be in my own zone for a while.

But one to two days after that, all the hype, all the people adding our band on friendster or myspace or what have you, the sudden increase in plays on the myspace music player, be it fifty or just five, it feels so good and all, but reality strikes in due time, and life goes all mundane again.

But I dont care la I can't fucking wait for the 1st of July show. My parents are coming. Adel's parents are coming. Saf's parents are coming. Leon also. Cmon la, its like fucking esplanade.

I'm hoping and praying for the best crowd for sunday's show. But I'm prepared for the worst, and whatever it is, I'm still just gonna give my fucking best, cause it makes me happy. You can count on that.

Take care, you.
Till next time.
I gotta get busy doing the things I have to do during my "holidays."

Love everyone.

Believe.

Believe in God. He is creation; Creation is God, God is the universe.
Believe in Satan. He's a bored bitch but unfortunately, he exists too.
Believe in Money. Everyone wants money, but money doesn't want anyone.
Believe in Love. It's all you really need, to give it and to receive it.
Believe in Imperfection. Humans dominate the world.
Believe in Karma. Do good things, but even when good things don't happen to you, you still feel good knowing you did something good.
Believe in Justice. It prevents you from being killed when you walk out of your house.
Believe in Rebellion. Rebellion gave the people what they wanted.
Believe in your Friends. They are kind enough to care about you.
Believe in your Family. They love you enough to have made you in the first place.
Believe in your Dreams. Without dreams, you would have nothing to hope for, nothing to live for, nothing of which you could die trying to achieve and still be happy.
Believe in your Goals. When you achieve them, you will be content.
Believe in your Purpose. When you find it, you will find peace.
Believe in Yourself. Your whole being, and everything you do, everything you think and feel, inside and out, makes you what you are; and everyone is beautiful.

Most importantly, Believe.
Set your mind straight, and stand for what you believe in. Not stand by. Stand for. And it will keep you going.
Just Believe.

is it gay to wake up with a frown?

Whoever said that "money cannot buy happiness" is fucking wrong.
I would like to argue that money can buy happiness.
How many of us are happy with the amount of money we have, and what we can do with that limited amount? How badly you want a particular item, which, upon receiving possession of it, will give you a certain degree of happiness, but you just dont have enough money?
That's what I call fucking frustrating.
That's not happiness.

If you had enough money, you would be so much more comfortable. You'd be able to have anything you want, whenever you want. You dont need to think twice before getting something at starbucks or coffee bean.
And you will be able to buy that particular item.
And upon receiving possession of it, you will be happy.
Therefore, money can make you happy.
I solemly tell you, money can buy you happiness.

Let me tell you what money can't buy.
Money cannot buy peace.
Money cannot buy love.
Money cannot buy friends.
Money cannot buy family.
Money cannot buy hard work and effort.
Money cannot buy the #1 thing you really care about.
Money cannot buy satisfaction.
Money cannot buy contentment.

Those things are of higher value than just 'happiness.'
And that's a whole different ball game.
Other than that, nothing else matters.
Those are the things that make your life complete.
Its all about love, really. Just love. You dont even need that much money. Money can make you happy, but it can't make you content.
Love to give, love to receive,
and you will be content.

or maybe im just a fucking good for nothing underachieving bastard.

I don't know why I'm in such a bad mood. I woke up with a frown. For the first time in a long time. And that's not good. It's so gay.
like the gig yesterday. it was really gay. not happy gay. it was just really fucked up. For Trella only. Thats even more fucked up. Cause the real bands brought their own equipment. And we didn't. I sincerely apologise to the whole crowd, everyone who went down, expecting something huge.
You guys were amazing. The biggest crowd we've managed so far, and to let you down like this, really, this really isn't right.
I'm sorry for the sponsor who gave the shitty equipment.
He will eat rotten bananas with his mat bands that he 'manages'
I'm sorry that our set was so fucking early, so early that none of the real bands could have come to our aid with their real equipment on time.
The gig was really fucked up.
But at least I can walk away knowing that we still gave a good show, crappy equipment and all. At least I gave my 100 percent. And that's something we should hold on to. One thing im grateful for was Vertical Rush's encouragement for us. Aaron Leng was right la. Turn down the volume but turn up the stage presence, and give it your 100 percent, and you will still walk away giving a good show, knowing it, and feeling that way too.

On behalf of Trella, I promise you a much much much much much better show this 1st of July when we play alongside Adel and the Control Takers at the Esplanade Powerhouse. keep checking http://myspace.com/trellaband for the details which are still yet to arrive at my inbox.
We'll also be recording our demo very very soon. Like finally, you can listen to two or three of the horrible catastrophies we call 'songs' in some form of quality. We're actually gonna produce cds and distribute them for free. Because we are so charitable and so head on about promoting ourselves.
But also because our wallets do not permit such high expenditure, we will only have limited copies of the demo cds, so if you really want to get them, get them quick or else.... you have to type so many letters and click so many buttons before you can download it off myspace.
More details soon la.
I'm tired.
Goodbye.

Oh, and happy father's day.

the weekend that induced the sexiness

Hello. Okay la ill update my blog. this weekend was retarded. I spent all my time either in the church's con camp helping or with the what thaf boys. Im tired to the max. My parents are out of town, and so's my sister, leaving the house to me. But im sick. Yes, I have a fever, i'm aching all over, and I have a sore throat resulting in my newfound but sadly temporary ability to break the boundaries of 'sexy.'

And now kenneth and joey are at my place.

Auditions for Tapestry 07 went well.
And the praise and worship for con camp was good. Was a good time for me to focus on God more and stuff.
And that's pretty much what my weekend consisted of. I had to miss rock the sub for that, but, oh well. I did the right thing, mafakas!

Next week's packed again. I have an exam on wednesday, band practice on thursday, gig on friday, recording on sunday, oh boy.

cannot wait for the gig la. got caracal, ava, giants must fall, vertical rush omg, then got us. whahahaha!

ay, i'll update more next time la. damn tired.
and my voice is really,
very
very
sexy.

thank you, goodnight!
adel is the sex!