and the cycle continues

Sometimes its hard to distinguish between the stuff that makes me happy, and the stuff that makes me really happy. I've already chosen a certain area in which I would be literally spending the rest of my life in; that area being music.

That stuff makes me more than just happy, it makes me content. Achieving certain goals in music would probably put a bigger smile on my face than anything else would. Short of saying "I really dont care about anything else," the reality is that I simply have to.

Dreams and aspirations may be important to all of us, but we all simply have to accept the reality of life, especially in this part of the world, or anywhere else, for that matter. Music has never been a sure-fire way of putting a roof over your head or bread on the table. In the average person's mind, you either make it big, or you dont make it at all.

I suppose, the trick to living life to its fullest is to have the best possible balance between what you truly love and everything else. To spend appropriate amounts of time and effort on the stuff that makes you happy, and the stuff that makes you really happy.

I seldom have my 'moments,' but i sincerely believe that my dad is one hell of a role model. He's done practically everything, and he's not even half done. In my mind, he found that balance in life really well, and executed it in the best possible way.
He fulfilled his dreams before he moved on to pursue a 'real career.' Before he was a teacher in Nanyang jc, we was a semi pro motocross racer. He rode for a team and got sponsored, raced in numerous locations around the region (well not all of it) and earned himself numerous trophies and a respectable title. And that was enough for him. I suppose, in that realm, he eventually found what made him really happy but also found what other stuff made him happy as well, and even though he did earn money in his racing career, he knew it wasnt realistic. He knew he wasnt gonna be able to race competitively after he busted his collarbone. He knew the money he earned wasnt enough to support his family, and he accepted it and moved on in life.

He's exactly the man I strive to be. Like me, he fucked up his o levels (not half as bad as I did, though) and went off on a completely different direction from his peers. It's easy to relate to my dad cause I more or less am in roughly the same position as he was, all those years ago.

It's crazy how I can make a life changing decision on impulse, and at the same time, find it so hard deciding what to have for dinner. Sometimes I spend more time deciding what to eat than actually devouring the chosen meal.

But I guess I know what I want out of life, more or less. I'm only 16 going on 17 and I have a long way ahead of me (I hope) and I know that my opinions will change, my ambitions will be altered and my goals will start to be different, the older I get. But that's what life is. It's a never ending growing process. I look at my grandpa, he just turned 91, he's still growing. growing never stops. No one ever finds a nice plateau and just sits there. Life is an evolution. Evolution is thought. Thought is opinions. Your opinions and stuff that matter to you is what make you, well, you. I suppose, the trick to life is simply to learn to grow up gracefully. I prefer to live on a day-to-day basis but I know that I have to make decisions that will affect my long term future. I guess, it's these decisions that make you who you are. Cause the decisions are based on your opinions, and the cycle continues.

show time

Yowza. okay our Tapestry slot has been changed.
we're playing at Wheelock place now, at 7.30pm.
its a pretty normal set, a half hour duration.
LOTS of other bands playing.
November iris also. they're playing at 1pm. at wheelock also.
what a big time difference.
i wanna watch them but got church la.
fking busy now, with school and all.
i cant wait to get over this hurdle
im mixing the tracks for trains now.
in the process of it la.
alot of work, to make up for a crappy recording session.
well, cant expect much,
we tracked everything in less than 3 hours.
which is fking retarded.
but i cant wait to get it out la.
the mixing and editing's gonna take a while.
due date's 26th july, its gonna be out.
then its show time.
till then, i have alot of editing to do.
but well, we'll wait and see.
ok bye people.

blurbs

hello.
yesterday was fun.
watched harry potter.
it was okay la.
i dreaded the part where sirius would die.
wasnt so bad la.
i love luna.
today, on the other hand, sucked shit.
im fking tired.
and stressed up.
tracked everything for trains today.
but im very skeptical about it.
was very rushed.
i hate time constraints.
music is an art, and art is timeless.
but this is the world we live in, so we just have to abide.
dunno if i accidentally deleted by other assignment in my thumbdrive.
fuck la.
next week is going to be another killer week.
two assignments, same due date.
promises, promises.
sigh.
someone give me a stretcher.
no, someone give me some form of freedom or escape.
just for a while.
fuck la i need to play a show badly.
need to let it all go.
i cannot wait to gig again.
what a way to let it all go.
29th july at 4pm, people. we're playing at cineleisure.
ooh and the Arrant End is playing dxo on the 22nd.
contact Adrain for tickets.
they have their demos on their purevolume.
they're wicked. So do check them out.
okay im gonna sleep.
today was fucked.
i have alot on my mind.
i thought i was easy going.
but i stress up real easily.

oh and thank you mw for the chitty chat, it really made my day. i cannot wait to catch that movie. again. heh.
goodnight world.
you horrible, complex world of time and money.

and happy 91st birthday, grandpa bong. you are my idol la, i swear. not like you read my blog but i love you.

im becoming a girl la. fucking wuss.

why i love my school

SAE is the only school which has a toilet in which i've had the balls to have taken a shit in.

its really the cleanest school toilet i've come across!

drifting.

It's kinda frustrating when time is really not such a readily available resource. You can't do everything you want to do, and you dont get to be everything you want to be. So we make compromises, to make things easier. We sort things out, resulting in certain things having priority over the other things. In the end, its all a choice, cause everything is up to you.

With this said, it becomes my fault now, cause apparently, i 'chose' to drift away from my church friends, innit. Well I suppose you could say that. It's justified in what I just said. I simply chose to do the things I did, resulting in my drifting away from the church buddies. It's sad really, cause they're just 'church buddies' now. It's sad really, cause they are 'they.'

I suppose I have no one else to blame. But really, just because I do not attend your weird little youth group sessions, I've automatically 'fallen away' from you guys? Leave my own reasoning and opinions alone, cause this is about keeping the friendship now.

I'm not saying that we're no longer friends now. Of course we are.

Just dont look at me like I'm some sort of 'boy turned bad' or whatever you people wanna lable me for not going for post con anymore.

Cause that's seriously very what-the-fuck.

fat yesterday, today and live earth

Being fat isnt something to be ashamed of. i know, its easy for me to say, cause im a skinny little twig. and i dont know what its like. im a skinny little boy who doesnt even look half my own age. 'being fat' is something i would never understand.
but really, what's so embarassing about being fat? yes, i said embarassing. people dont really care that it can be unhealthy. being too skinny is unhealthy too, you know. theyre just embarassed to be fat. why though? its not your fault that you are fat. i saw one fat guy at the skatepark, who wasnt afraid of just taking off his shirt and letting his man tits bounce around while he was skating. he wasnt embarassed. its vanity la, its all vanity.

Yesterday was damn fun la. Avery's birthday. the big man is eggteen years old. happy birthday avery wong. went to swensens and spent alot of money cause of irresistable cravings. and cause it was a happy day. after that we hit home club and everyone was there. we drank a little bit and, i enjoyed myself. just a little bit la. but i still really miss the old home club. it was really more homely. much more. home club looks so fucking sinister now. and zac is funny when he is high. adel is fking funny and fking lame. i like him la. jem is the best. i cannot believe that i am taller than him. but we're still short. and short people eat your knees.

today on the other hand was, quite empty, i dont know why. woke up, had a dose of battlefied, had jamming, was pretty productive, had another dose of battlefield with some hooligans who wanted to play against us, had fun la, then went to the youth park show, got dissapointed cause plainsunset didnt get to play cause of fked up organization, saw rika and no direction, awesome la, then went to gardens to meet pam cause she just came back from australia the land of big, and then went home. i saw alot of fat people today (which explains my first paragraph) and the 'live earth' thing was everywhere.

by the way, this whole 'live earth' thing is retarded. i wore green today. for the heck of it. i dont support the show. people who really wanna save the earth won't even use that much electricity.

i wanna watch transformers again.

soon la, soon. i will come back to you!

towelboy's ass kisses

Hello everyone.
The show yesterday was fking awesome.
Minus the mistakes (not talking about stoplights, but well, including the mistakes for that song la), the noobness, the inperfection, the towel frenzy (zac and jem you watch out) and the butterflies in our tummies.
Thank you everyone, for making our dreams come true.
For making my dreams come true.
Thank you adel, thank you atc, thank you hafiz smalls, thank you joey, safith, zachary, leon, khalil, and avery. i owe you everything.
thank you daddy for my thinline.
thank you mummy for supporting what i do.
thank you friends and family for the overwhelming support. it's awesome having the ones we love watching when we're doing something we love.
we learned so much, and it was awesome working with such nice people. thank you everyone who made sunday's show become sunday's show.

I will never forget this show.
God bless everyone.

btw, transformers fking rocks